Wednesday, February 4, 2015

ISWG: Going to Bed Angsty

Today is IWSG day.Thanks to Alex Cavanaugh for organizing this monthly event where writers share about writerly insecurities and other things. My post is up a little later today.

Growing up, I sometimes had trouble falling asleep at night. Part of this was attributed to my asthma and the other part of it had to do with how, sometimes at bedtime, my head would be supersaturated with the following: random thoughts and ideas, what-if questions, stuff I was studying about at school, analyses over both recent and not-so-recent incidents, and hindsight over what I should’ve said or done in an incident, even one that could be quite trivial, but was still keeping me up nonetheless.

And before you ask….no, counting sheep didn’t usually work.

When I got stuck in this cycle, I would try to coax myself to let it go and sleep it off. Sometimes I succeeded. At other times, the later into the night it got, the more irritated I got with my busybody mind for ignoring my physical exhaustion. 

As an adult, I usually sleep much better nowa-nights (a word I just made up). But there are still exceptions.

In the past few weeks, my mind fought sleep during two nights. The trigger for the first miserable night came from the ongoing analysis of a situation, and for the second night, an echoing what-if question. The good news it that before drifting off on both these nights, I made a quiet pact with myself to take action the following day. The results of my “taking action" have been positive.

The bad news is that the hours I wasted mulling over these things took its toll on my body. As I'm typing this post, I feel a cold coming on. 

When was the last time you had trouble sleeping at night? What was going through your head then?