Sunday, July 13, 2014

If I were Dear Abby...

Recently, I came across a Dear Abby column titled: "Friend Has Hard Time Finding a Few Kind Words for Bad Book." To summarize the dilemma, the advice seeker's friend's husband self-published a book and he asked the advice seeker to write a positive review of his book on Amazon. Problem is, the advice seeker thought the book was terribly written. Dear Abby advised the advice seeker to find something nice to say on Amazon, nonetheless. I've enjoyed reading Dear Abby very much through the years. And I have something to add on to her response this time...

All writers, especially new writers, should be open to opportunities for developing their craft. It would be unfortunate if this author would continue to spend years of his life passionately laboring over more books after this one, and believing all of his books demonstrate "perfection" ...while those around him fear that their honesty would hurt him. Wouldn't this mirror the story about the emperor without clothes? Sometimes honesty can be a gift when it’s packaged with VERY EXTREME tact and sensitivity and consideration to the other person's feelings.  (Being aware of some of the yucky stuff out there online, I want to emphasize that honesty and mean-spirited comments are two completely different things, and should NOT be regarded as synonyms.)  

If I were Dear Abby, I would advise the advice seeker to honor her comfort zone. That is, if she is okay with leaving a positive review for this author, then she should do so. And vice versa. It should also be noted that it is possible to write a positive review about a book while weaving in a little teeny weeny bit of constructive criticism. Regardless of whether or not the advice seeker writes the review, she could also consider how she might help the author grow as a writer. For example, she doesn't have to be a literary critic to gently suggest that the author find a critique partner, someone who is not his spouse.

What would your advice to the advice seeker be?

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

IWSG: Time Capsule Reflections

It's a little after 10 PM on the first Wednesday of July...so it's still Wednesday!...And it's still IWSG day. Thanks to Alex Cavanaugh for organizing this monthly event where writers share about their writerly insecurities and other stuff. This month, I'm not sharing an insecurity, but about something else that has been making me quietly thoughtful. 

In my neighborhood, there is a library that will be having its grand opening later this summer. People have been invited to submit to a time capsule that will be stored away in the library's tower. Among the items requested are family histories and photos. The time capsule will be opened in 50 years. 

I contributed to the time capsule on behalf of my family. The family history I wrote was fairly short, less than one page. But this is more than just a family history. It is a love letter from myself to my children, and possible grandchildren, to be unveiled half a century into the future. Although my husband and I tell our children we love them enough, maybe they'd need to hear it again in 50 years.

If I read the "love letter" to my toddler children now, they wouldn't get it. But perhaps 50 years down the road, if my children are around to see the time capsule open, I can only hope my words might offer them some comfort and validation, wherever they might be in their lives at that time. 

What would you put in a time capsule to be opened 50 years from now?