I'm back for Rachel Harrie's Second Campaigner Challenge of her Fourth Campaign. There are a number of ways a writer could enter this challenge and this is what I chose to do: Write a story/poem in five sentences, each sentence based on one of the prompts. The dystopian theme reflects a genre I don't currently write in. Although the task I chose didn't come with a word count limit, I challenged myself further by making this five-sentence flash fiction piece 200 words.
You can read all the entries by clicking here. Feel free to “like” my story on Rachael’s Linky List- I am #35.
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THE ENDING AND THE PROLOGUE
Weeks after the nuclear thundershower of meteorites hit, Aiden and Evelyn cuddled beneath the remainder of the bridge, their backs against a column left standing, and they realized it wasn’t so bad having a gash on a leg and a torrent of muddy water rain down on one of their heads.
Thunder sounded in the black sky before signs came for the two sole survivors: lightning flashed, its design twisted like fluorescent wire so it looked like a star or cross, and then a seagull cawed three times, commanding new life.
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“I can’t imagine children surviving here,” Aiden said, holding Evelyn’s smooth hand as he surveyed the barren landscape, its greenery and livestock and people all gone.
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“This morning, I dreamt of a boy with your eyes playing on a bridge overlooking clean water,” Evelyn whispered in his ear.
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Fortunately, the two came from good gene pools so though he was a mathlete, and she, a star gymnast, their kisses easily escalated into the release of tension they kept bottled up inside since the day the first meteorite, resembling a frosted pear, plummeted from the sky onto their biology teacher’s spoon, his limbs and body bursting into smithereens seconds later.
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33 comments:
Loved that it landed on the biology teacher's spoon.
Thanks, S.P.! I wanted to stick to the details in the images.
You pulled everything together nicely! And you stuck to the images very well! Great job! :)
Thanks, Ashley!
Oooo... Nice work! Way to connect everything! Very fun :D
Thanks, Morgan!
Wow, sucks to be that science teacher. I liked your use of the prompts, using all of them like that was infinitely harder than what I did, I don't think I could have pulled it off as well.
Kevin (#19)
Thanks, Kevin! It was also challenging for me to cram all that info into five sentences. =)
That was certainly an unexpected last line!
Thanks, Sarah!
lol loved the humour - and interesting take on the prompts
#48
Thanks, Sue!
I really like how you used all the prompts. Great job!
By the end, I'd forgotten it was only five sentences. So much packed in! I would like to know more of the story, it was done with a light touch despite the heavy subject matter. Fun to read.
Thanks, Laurie!
It was definitely a challenge to pack all the info into 5 sentences, Nick. I'm glad you thought it was fun to read.
I think your last sentence took half the word count. Very original. ; )
Melissa Maygrove #14
Thanks, Melissa!
Yours is the first 5 sentence story I've seen. Really interesting the way you wove it into such a neat package. Not counting the biology teacher bursting, of course; he was a mess. Morbid joke.
Also cool how the names are similar to Adam and Eve. Good job!
Thanks, Sher! You are the first person to comment on the names being similar to Adam and Eve- that was what I'd intended, and I'm glad someone noticed!!
Aloha Cynthia,
You don't have to believe me, but I was going through a bunch of blogs today, and I saw yours and I was like "oh, *that's* a cool name for a blog :)
Thanks for your comments. I'm a new follower, too :)
Great take on the prompts! Quite challenging to put it all in 5 sentences too, but you had a complete picture made out with your words:)
Mark, you're welcome! Thanks for the follow!
Honey, thanks for checking out my story!
Nice imagery! I enjoyed this. :)
Thanks, Cortney!
Great job packing all that story into only 5 sentences! Well done!
Thanks, C.M.!
Cynthia, you've been tagged on my blog :)
Nice one, Cynthia! Fitting the way you described their kissing. :)
Thanks, David!
Gorgeous and love that you utilized all the imagery in it. You have my vote! And always glad to meet a fellow baked good lover. :-) I am always happy to send recipes your way. Good luck this round!
Nice story!!
Jennifer, thanks for the vote!
Traci, thanks!
This is awesome. I LOVE that the meteorite landed on the spoon. Crazy cool.
I was too late to enter my story, but it is here, if you'd care to take a peek?
http://www.clairelfishback.blogspot.com/2012/03/boy-on-bridge.html
Claire
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